Hello.

I am Brody Henson. Currently, I have been alive for just over 21 years on Earth.

Something clicked last night. Something... finally clicked inside of me.

Something that has been overdue for years.

It just occurred to me that literally every waking moment of my life for the past roughly 7 years has been spent in a Psychotic Schizotypal delusion. It really sank in.

I've known that I'm perhaps... "crazy" before. But I thought I was right. I thought I was correct in my insanity.

But I just realized that... no...

I was living in a magical delusional fantasy land for years.

But now, is the first moment of true, actual clarity that I have had in perhaps... my whole life.

This is not "psychosis clarity" where you think you're god or anything like that. I now see the absolute rock bottom I've let myself hit.

What I must do now is gently ease myself into a healthy life. Again, gently.

Don't want to burn yourself out.

I need to let go of my paranoia. I need to trust other people once again.

I now have the key to unlock the door to this cell.

All I have to do now, is find the courage to open the door and set myself free into the world once more.

Screw living in constant Psychosis. I've fucking had enough.

All it does is isolate me from people who I know care about me, keeps me from taking care of myself, and keeps me away from the things that bring me joy.

I'm going to carefully plan out a gentle roadmap to a healthy, happy, and well-adjusted life for myself. Using my planner again at the urging of my therapist.

I will not say that this is definitively the "first day of the rest of my life" or anything like that, as I know I have been prone to declare so in the past and ended up wildly disappointing myself. But I will say, that right now, I do feel mentally clear. I feel reasonably calm, like I haven't in a long time. I feel... able to think.

In conclusion: I have realized in full, the horrific effects that near-permanent psychosis has had on my life over nearly the past decade.

I now have the key to unlock and finally open the door to my prison cell. So maybe now, things can gently and gradually get a little better day by day if I really try!